NEW BLOG

Hi Everyone - My new blog is up and running. Please go to the new blog at www.increasingheartandhome.com and you can subscribe to my posts there.

 

This blog has moved

I have finally got everything moved over to my new website - www.increasingheartandhome.com. If you are a subscriber, you may want to change your feed over on the new website. While everything is not fully finished, please enjoy the new website.

Changes are a coming....

Things are busy in the Dear Family. Changes moving around in AbideWithHim world. I am working on changing up my blog and moving to another blog platform. I have secured a new website www.increasingheartandhome.com. It is up, but not much going on there yet. I am wanting to focus on a few things such at homeschooling, adoption and living with special needs child, and life in the ministry.

I hope to up and completely running soon. So hang in there with me.

 

Adoption is Hard (on the heart)

Yes, I said it - adoption is hard. Would I change it NO!! You see all the happy gotcha days, happy family pics, and all the kiddos doing wonderful. Don't get me wrong, adoption is one of the most wonderful things we have done as a family, but some days your heart just breaks. If you are reading this, please don't let this deter you. I just want to be real. It's hard to talk about this in person, so I am taking to writing just to get my thoughts out there.

When you adopt a special needs depending on the severity - there are doctor and/or hospital visits, therapies, and the seemingly endless tests. When adopting internationally there is the whole language barrier. As I wrote in the previous post, today 2 yrs ago was likely one of the worst days we ever had. But God in his mercy, save our daughter's life.

Many of you who have adopted know about the grief. I'm not sure about younger children, but our daughter was adopted at the age of 6 and boy did she grieve and still does to some extent.  Today was one of those days.  We have days where she talks about Chi*na and misses and wants to go back. There are also other days where she is afraid we are going to die and leave her too.  We were working on school and was very excited about her dad starting to work on building her a loft bed.  She has been begging for one and she could use the extra area in her room.

Every once in a while, she will talk about being afraid to die, or worried one of us would, but we reassure her and remind her God loves her and she will be ok. She would also worry what would happen to her if we did die. We also pray with her.  Today though just about broke my heart.  She was crying at her desk, and we decided to go upstairs to leave her sister alone to do school.  I just sat on the couch holding her while she cried and sobbed.  Then she said - "I don't want to lose you, I've already lost one family".  My heart just sank. I squeezed her a little harder and just prayed for her.  Hubby was there and we just looked at each other.  After that, there was no more school for the day - it was movies and Legos and cuddling on the couch. I worry about her health and all the things she has to endure with such strength.  I cannot replace her first mom, but I can love her do my best to let her know that I never plan to leave her.

Our other daughters will never go thru what Rae has, and they may never understand. So I just pray for the day she will be comforted with that fact that we as her family will never want to leave her, and that her Heavenly Father will never leave her.

Just Thinking...

It has been almost two years ago when we experienced one of the scariest days as a parents - seeing your daughter in a full blown seizure and there is nothing you can do. Our older girls have both had surgeries and were worried about those, but nothing prepared us for that morning. We were very worried, and all I could do was pray. We knew God was bigger than all of what were going thru. There was no one to be mad at. We could be mad at the Ch*nese orphanage or directors , but what good would that have been. They said they didn't know either. There were many ifs, but we had to accept that this was what God had planned for us. He was going to get us thru this. 

I hate to think if we had known everything, and we had said no to her referral. God is sovereign and he has big plans for our daughter. His plan may even be to trust Him even more, well then - let it be. I would not trade this journey with our little girl for anything. She has brought such joy in our lives, and we love seeing her learn new things especially her love for things of God.

This morning as we were driving into Children's Hospital this song was playing on the radio.  I'm reminded He is there and will always be.

Not For a Moment by Meredith Andrews

You were reaching through the storm 
Walking on the water 
Even when I could not see 
In the middle of it all 
When I thought You were a thousand miles away 
Not for a moment did You forsake me 
Not for a moment did You forsake me 

CHORUS 
After all You are constant 
After all You are only good 
After all You are sovereign 
Not for a moment will You forsake me 
Not for a moment will You forsake me 

You were singing in the dark 
Whispering Your promise 
Even when I could not hear 
I was held in Your arms 
Carried for a thousand miles to show 
Not for a moment did You forsake me 


And every step every breath you are there 
Every tear every cry every prayer 
In my heart at my worst 
When my world falls down 
Not for a moment will You forsake me 
Even in the dark 
Even when it's hard 
You will never leave me 
After all 

CHORUS 
Not for a moment will You forsake me

 

He Knows My Name

Today during my quiet time I was struck by Psalm 139. I know many of you know this chapter, and it is very popular to quote and memorize. Have you really thought about it though?  He knows EVERYTHING about you.  He knows everything thought whether good or bad. He knows when we need anything. He knows where we are physically and spiritually.   We cannot escape the reach of our Holy Father! How amazing it is when you think of Him intimately know us from when we were created.

Take comfort in knowing - HE KNOWS YOU!!

Psalm 139 NLT

 O  Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.

You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do.

You know what I am going to say even before I say it, lord.

You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,too great for me to understand!

I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!

If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.

If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me,and your strength will support me.

I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night—

But even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day.

Darkness and light are the same to you.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!

I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! 

O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers! They blaspheme you; your enemies misuse your name.

O  lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?

Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

My prayer is that this may bring you encouragement. If you don't know Him, seek Him while he may be found. Contact me or anyone you know that can help you know Jesus in this amazing way. He LOVES YOU!!

Read Across America 2014

Today is Read Across America in honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday. I picked up Green Eggs and Ham for Rae this weekend for her to learn to read. Her reading has come along was with the help of homeschooling, speech therapy, and ELL classes at the school. She is starting to pick up the love for reading like the rest of her family. She tries to read everything!

 As many of you know we have a recording studio at home for our AbideWithHim ministries, so I sat Rae up on the school and she read Green Eggs and Ham for all of you to enjoy. (yes, she is still in her pjs)